The Citadel of Chaos: History: The Class Dirk Failed

     And now, a brief history of our situation. Learnt not as rumours spoken by the filthy peasant folk, but straight from the mouth of King Salamon.

     Stop!

      "lawful goodfolk"? Really.

     I know D&D was a big influence on these books, but what are we supposed to make of this line? Is it simply that the goodfolk are lawful, or is D&D style alignment a thing here? No explanation seems forthcoming to explain this bizarre turn of phrase, and it seems a mystery as to why it should be spoken in such a manner. After all, one assumes most goodfolk to be more or less lawful, so long as the laws are just. Even if we're assuming alignment, does goodfolk  here mean the Good alignment, or just a way to politely refer to the populace?

     It is particularly bizarre, because in general Fighting Fantasy seems to skew younger than D&D, so the audience shouldn't be expected to recognize the term's potential significance.

     Where was I?

Honestly, he hasn't done anything. But people heard the name and knew what was to be done. 

     I make fun of these introductions for being vague, but at least we're establishing Balthus Dire as a credible threat, rather than a self-isolating Warlock. 

Fortunately, training Chaotics is like herding tigers.

     I can give a similar speech about half-elves as I did to "lawful goodfolk". If I'd read this book back when I was seven, about the only previous reference to elves I was likely to have is in reference to Santa Claus and maybe the Rankin Bas Hobbit.

     What in the gaping maws of Cerberus is a Chaotic, and how does one recruit an army of them? This is raising more questions than it answers.

     The writing is still an improvement over The Warlock of Firetop Mountain's Rumours. At least here we have an acknowledged source of information. 

     Being a man of action, the King composed a strongly worded letter!

Wait, "King Salamon" is wise? I never would have guessed!

     Or he could just send the Grand Wizard a letter of his own.

     Is the Great Forest of Yore a nation state, or just a forest. Are the half-elves an ethnic force unto themselves, or is the message just being sent to half-elves that live in a society of elves and humans? Is the Grand Wizard of Yore a a half-elf? Why did we need to mention his race?

     Okay, I know that "white sorcerer" here probably means "good sorcerer", or a wielder of "good" magic. But, when you refer to the Grand Wizard of Yore as a white sorcerer, it reads rather... well, Klannish to me.

     I do like this set up as to why you are neither particularly overpowered, but trusted to do the job. Doesn't justify the lack of starting gear, but it does ground the story considerably.

     "Damn straight."

"We lawful goodfolk are all about murdering our enemies!"

      Seems my description of Dirk is in accord with being headstrong and impatient. Now I have a reason to be going alone, too.

     I enjoyed the attention and enthusiasm of the king. Many people in the court came to ask me to perform spells and miracles for them, but "Alas I had to turn each a way to save my magic for the coming battle", as I put it. They ate that up, and I was saved the embarrassment of trying to get one of my own spells to work properly before such an audience. Even when I accomplish the task, my efforts are seldom elegant. The Grand Wizard so often called me a self-breaking hammer.

     The king seemed eager for me to leave, but not as eager as I. He had his administrators drill me with all the knowledge of Balthus Dire they had. This proved to be the task of a single sentence, and yet it took them two days. Seeking to begin my journey proper, I had to invent a supposed magical vision of Balthus Dire amassing his army even as we spoke.

     They had me out and on my way within the hour.

     I must confess, I have not killed a man since becoming a student of magic. It shall be a change to do so with magic.

     So surrounded he is little likely to escape his own monstrous army. Many a wizard has been consumed by his own summoned servant.

Like, for example, all the time.

     This book clearly didn't have my roll in mind. I'm pretty sure Dirk Hope's strongest weapon is his swordsmanship.

Unfortunately, you'll be dead before the second... wait, I made this joke last time.

     "And which one way might that be, your majesty?" I asked.

     The king responded only with a vague mumble and some very incoherent grunts. Had he not been royalty I would have given him a firm piece of my mind. Even as it was, I rolled my eyes so  greatly that they hurt. 

     Having found the Black Tower up in the horizon, Dirk swears loudly to himself, turns over the map, finds that the Citadel of Chaos was entirely the other direction, and heads that way.