City of Thieves: Character Background

     Hilda of Somewhere (even she is not entirely clear as to whether her home never had a name, or she just forgot it, but that place was horrible anyways) has decided to forgo a normal life in favor of adventure, action, and dying horribly in a gamebook!

Anyone else picking up serious jerkwad vibes?

      There really is a much stronger implication of character in some of these books. A very generic character, but a character. I wouldn't be able to play Henrietta with that given backstory.

       Let it be known: I got as far as book 5 before the book attempted to gender me or my character! Yeah, not sure if anyone else caught it, but Hilda isn't exactly a 'swordsman' (and has had quite a few fights about that very thing, I'm sure). I know these books were mainly aimed, intentionally or just by happenstance, at boys, but so far they'd been pretty good at not letting that slip.

     Smelling something good, I grab a piece of spiced bread from a passing cart, without arousing the suspicion of the merchant, and take a healthy bite while I take in the sights. Siverton had had a nice ring of riches in its name, and so far it's checking out.

I'm sorry, I appear to have a scan of the local Silverton Tourism Board's brochure. Let me find the gamebook...

     'Prefer your own company to that of others'... hang on... okay, so it's not the exact line from Forest of Doom, but this is the second time Livingstone has insisted I like being alone. Can't have a heroic adventurer who likes being around people. Oh, no.

     Trouble means money. Also, all this money means money. Think I can work a paycheck.

Wait, they have someone tell the people outdoors that it's nightfall?

      I take a moment to consider the unusual and unpleasant name for a tavern. The shingle sways ominously in a sudden gust.

Seems Legit

      Well, the mad scrabble to get in somewhere makes me feel I'll lose some game if I don't get in. So I guess this'll have to do.

Ah, yeah, 'bout time I got some respect!

     I show off my chipped teeth, flash a curtsey to the onlookers and sit myself down to await the adulation of the masses.

Ever notice how characters are always described as 'balding' and seldom 'bald'?

     I smile at the man, parchment and quill ready for an autograph. Then he calls me stranger and I frown. It's so annoying to not be recognized.

      "Well, if it's important, speak!" I insist.

The but slightly implies importance normally negates anguish and sorrow.

      Well, I am important too! I snap my fingers and wave to the serving girl. She almost trips in her confusion, but manages to serve us both.

I swear, no one remembers how much veggies medieval people ate. Just a goose. That's it, whole meal.

      I carve a piece of the goose with my knife and chew it slowly. "You're watching me eat like a poisoner," I say. The man starts and tries to find a position that will in some way clothe his naked interest.  Yeah, it's not working.

     "If you know me why do you keep calling me stranger?"

      The question throws him off. He stumbles through trying to make sense of what to say, while I snap my fingers for more of whatever this alcoholic brew is. Eventually, the man starts up again with the pompous airs only an important official in a city whose lifeblood is travelers who carry more money in their burse than the local annual budget.

Mirelle is a hobbit, I presume.

      I snort and the alcohol burns in my nose. "Sorry," I say, as I wipe the spray away, "But... Zanbar Bone? Really?"

      The man nods, still looking horrified. I laugh, but he continues with even greater urgency.

      "The bard?"

       "No... Zanbar Bone."

       "No idea."

        The man is silent for a long time.

      "How do you know that?"

      "I... what?"

       "How do you know they were hidden skeletal and souless bodies? You didn't see them."

       "I... no one's ever seen them. Not to live and tell the tale."

       "Then... how do you know what they look like?"

       "I... can I just tell the story?"

        I shrug and gesture for him to continue.

      "Who figured that out?"

       He's gotten the rhythm, because he doesn't stumble over his momentum. He just looks at me.

       "So someone killed one with a silver arrow. How do you know that's the only thing that works? Did you try a gold arrow? Or just, like, a really big club?"

       "I'm just telling you what others tell me."

        "And I'm just trying to get the facts right."

         "You need a silver arrow. Just trust me."

          "I should be taking notes," I scribble 'silver arrow kills Spirit Stalkers'. 

     I nod. "Right, so now you want me to take your daughter to Zanbar Bone, and set this all right."

     "No! I love my daughter!"

      "More than you love people in town not dying?"

       The man is very tactfully quiet there. "If I were to hand over Mirelle, I wouldn't need to pay you."

        "You should never negotiate with evil lords," I assure him.

     Ah, wise old Nicodemus, I'm familiar with him...

     Okay, let's be fair, you're more likely to recognize Derek Jacobi's portrayal of the character...

      "Yeah," I say, "You don't want to flog people who are angry that 23 people are dead instead of your daughter marrying a man of sufficient wealth and power to command supernatural forces beyond the ken of any mortal."

      The mayor glares at me, but doesn't rise to it.

      The money is gone to my pocket before it has a chance to hit the table. "Used to be friends?"

       "Not talking about that."

       "Okay, so is Port Blacksand actually as bad as all that, or is this a local rivalry thing? Everyone hates neighboring towns."

       "I assure you," he insists, "It really is a city of thieves. An illegal port that cares nothing for the laws of any nation."

        "Sounds like a great place to get rich."

      "What were you doing with this sword?" I say as I hold it up to the light. 

      "It's dangerous," the Carralif says. "I already feel bad being without it."

      "Sure, but it's mine now."

     It really is odd reading this one. I don't really remember it, but there are echoes of familiarity. I remember the creeped out town, the references to the Moon Dogs... things are familiar without me seeing it coming. I knew there was something about special arrows, too.